Eau de Foci (Foci Girls Fragrances)

Eau de Foci is the first fragrance released by Foci Girls Fragrances, a subsidiary of global fashion and cosmetics conglomerate FociMonde, which is itself owned and operated by Foci LLC. The Foci Girls partnered with LVMH goods distributors and Italian artisans and craftsmen to formulate the ultimate fragrance for the enigmatic woman. With notes of sandalwood, jasmine, honey, sweet cream, ash, and freshly lactated breast milk, this fragrance is lifted by a refreshing overtone of pork, and grounded by a lingering aftertaste of bile and sulphur. As breathtakingly stimulating as it is versatile, Eau de Foci comes in an exquisite and tactile sapphire bottle bejeweled with expertly embedded and simply stunning Swarovski crystal lattice-work, complimented by an array of exotic and iridescent focitite geodes mined in the picturesque gemstone mines of Myanmar and Belarus, which have willingly supplied the gemstones free of charge to Foci LLC in compliance with the 2025 Global Gemstone Deposit Redistribution Act, a worldwide legislative measure which sought to restore the rightful ownership of the world's rare earth minerals and gemstones to the Foci Girls.

The advertising campaign that heralded and accompanied the fragrance's release was notorious for its bold, unflinching use of sex and sexuality due to their depiction of sexy girls with mega hooters spraying themselves down. Clearly, the Foci Girls know a thing or two about making love.

Local perfume enthusiast and entertainment mogul Nikki Krebs-Minaj commented: "This is simply a classic fragrance, one that rivals even Chanel No. 5 and Yves Saint Laurent Rive Gauche in terms of its unforgettably sexy scent and its lasting impact on a generation of American women. This fragrance encapulsates, for me, what it means to be an enigmatic woman. I want my scent to reflect my sexy and enigmatic ways, and Eau de Foci does for me exactly that. Personally, I could not be more pleased with this fragrance. I have also found that it is quite useful as a feminine hygiene product, as it leaves the vulva with a long-lasting fresh odor that is highly resistant to bacteria and contamination due to its high alcohol content. It works for bussies as well, although there has been some FDA controversy surrounding the efficacy of its effects on certain varieties of mussy."

There have also been disturbing reports of children dying mysteriously after possibly consuming Eau de Foci, which looks uncannily like bottles of Diet Sunny-D. Foci LLC settled out of court with most of the individuals who pursued legal action against the conglomerate, and it is for this reason that the toxicology reports of the victims have never been released. To this day, no comprehensive chemical analysis of Eau de Foci has been performed. That being said, repres'entatives for FociMonde ensured our team of editors that Eau de Foci is "perfectly safe for everyday usage on whatever or whoever you want."